"Her Catastrophic Night"

"Have you ever laid on your bed at night and cried because you are not good enough? Counted all your flaws and felt worse about yourself? And just felt too miserable and alone...?"

Tears floated down her dark big eyes, damping her pale cheeks like rain drops pouring on the dry desert sand. Depression invaded her like a chemical with which every reaction was causing explosion in her head, filling it with thick dark smoke of agony.

She felt like she wont be able to survive anymore as her injured bleeding knees were not ready to lift her heavy dead soul. She wished to live in the dark room , forever, whose walls were tinted with the shades of regret ,making it hard for her to breath.There was a sound of the storm in her sob which was wandering in her heart. She started dragging her numb body with her aching feet and pushed the door hard to stand beneath the drizzle .

She saw Dark shadows of night invading the balcony, its railing was frozen due to cold breeze. She yearned for the ways to dust away the aching shards of her bygone days , but as it was the past, it always finds her.

She hated those most catastrophic intervals of night, when dark shadows lingered like wild creatures of woods.  Suffering from insomnia, she craved for just few hours of peaceful sleep but these hours had such an immense effect on her nerves that even a smallest thing felt like scratching, cutting and tearing her apart.

She came back to her room, only to stain her pillow again. She noticed the rain drops striking her window glass,  they could not  not compete the flow of that salty acidic water of her eyes that burnt her skin on its way down to the corners of her lips , where they vanished, just like her contentment . She closed her eyes and shelled herself in the blanket which felt so heavy as if someone had seamed all the mistakes, regrets and guilt of her life in it. The hanging photographs on the wall seemed so blur, just like her happy days.

At that time of the night, she felt like her body had turned into a certain type of magnet, attracting all broken sharp shreds of lingering thoughts and then just before the dawn she felt swear traumatizing pain in her heart like someone has injected a tranquilizer in it, making her numb, fading away her thoughts and hanging her over in arms of sleep.

Just  when the sun teared the dark shadows of night with it's heat and light, she fell to sleep , slowly, just like a feather who has wandered whole night in dark woods of a high mountain, reached at the peak and then set free with the blow of wind, moving with the flow of breeze , slowly coming down and down and down.

"The Treasure" (an excerpt)

Her hands became numb and shiver ran down  her body. Something choked her throat and she struggled to breathe, as if the chains of misery had encircled around her neck, leaving the least possibility of her survival. The  tears had blurred everything and her soul could no longer peep through her eyes .  Her soul was woven into his. It was 'Entangled Forever' she had always believed.
 "Even the prettiest flower will wilt one day. Forever is a myth," he had always teased.

She held his cold hand and placed it on her cheek, like he  did, whenever she felt low. She noticed his lips, they were chapped & had a bluish colour instead of their pink tone, His black hair did not shine that day and his beautiful skin had turned  pale. No , He did not wake up this time when she  touched his nose.
" The next time you wake me with that nose pull, I swear I wont wake up the whole day",he had often chided her out of love in the cozy winter mornings.

She only knew that he will heal soon. She could not imagine him travelling to  another world, where they could never be together. An optimist she was. He was her cure , she was his medicine.

Clutching  his Cold hand close, the flashback of their most cherished moments started playing in her mind. She remembered how she had let him see her past, all the burns and aches.She had allowed him to grasp her in his arms and let her tears stain his shoulders. She had let  him infect his venom of passion into her blood. She remembered exactly, how she told him about her fears , nightmares and dark shadows following her, About her bad times, miserable moments and big mistakes . And how firmly he had held her close , how he had pampered her every night, letting her feel the strength of his arms around her and warmth of his body near her. She remembered how  he made her sleep effortlessly and stayed up to keep her bad dreams away, how she had always smiled and giggled at his sight. How he always kept her safe like she was his treasure.

"Sorry. We tried but the last stage caused  severe blood loss and his....", the doctor continued. Still, Frozen and lost, she was not listening to him. No  words, no sound, nothing could affect her.  Only Her tummy pained, the tiny sapling of their love was growing in her.
He had left behind a handsome little treasure for her.She wanted to end herself and go with him, but  she decided to stay, to bring this treasure into the world . Only to nurture it, protect it and watch it grow. Just as he would have done.

"She still sleeps with his photo,drinks in his cup, reads his favorite book, uses his spectacles, plays his melodies on the piano and cooks his favorite food,  after thirty long years of his demise", answered a deep manly voice.... when asked ,"How did she manage to rear you, alone?"

"Because she never was. He was existing in her life, emotionally and otherwise. I have seen him surviving in her breath, living in her memories and breathing in her soul, for they were 'Entangled Forever', she had believed", the voice added.

"SHE..."

She was staring at the scattered white pages,with the pen
 in her hand,

 Wondering... what to write , from where to start and 
where to end.

 She was  experiencing an influx of tsunami thoughts.

 She was gradually drowning deep into it,but hoped to breathe,survive and live.

 Her words  often came to rescue her from such

 plethora(flood) of emotions.

But when ever she tried to write about HIM, all her words acquired some kind of superficial power to

 vanish at once.

They both had such a wide valley of fantasy between them that it was hard for her to  cross it 

and reach him.

She knew that a part of him was burning in flames with all the desires he was having and wanted her 

to get burnt with him.

Yet, with every passing day, she prayed, wished and hoped for him

to stay.

She knew that the flames of this burning desire to reach him will take her life away one day.

 He was moving with great pace in her veins, killing her in a way that she was actually

 tasting life.

 He had drawn her out of the cocoon and shown her that she was a butterfly . She was willing to go to the end for 

she could not thank him enough.

 There she was , a fragile girl, fallen for a man who was  demanding, passionate, disciplined

 and tough.

 They belonged to two opposite worlds. She? Lost in his thoughts. He? Lost in himself.

 So far, yet so close they were, too different, 

yet perfect together.

 There they were , standing in the world of their fantasies, dreams and desires.......

"The pages of my diary"... ( from a guy's perspective)

         

The pages of my diary are stained

 With the ink of my blood,

Injured with the blades of wrath ,

my eyes bleed in this selfish world.

Wounded In the battle between

 our love and the ruthless society ,

My words scream,

to bring her back to life.

And  I pray to the almighty,

That My heart has become

 an incurable patient of eternal pain,

 So take me away,

For she was the only saviour medicine

 in my most vulnerable days.!!

"The Unexpected"

" Because, sometimes the things we are most sure of in this life, end in the greatest irony of all."

If u ask me what is the hue of the romance ?  I would point towards the scarlet  horizon  that outlines the dispersed clouds, those clouds , which seem to lose their way somewhere amidst the vast adrift sky . This hue envelops the distorted clouds of emotions and feelings inside our  heart. It paints the canvas of life where the plethora of true love flows into infinity....!  

Love embraces the imperfection and romance imbibes the breeze of trust  & you are elevated to the world of  fiction. The beauty of this "titanic" feeling, perhaps, leads us into the deep sea of hopes and expectations. We dive head-first into this sea with zeal and optimism to fetch a perfect life.We expect love to be a world of roses ,decorated with our favorite shades. And as they say "Time & Tide wait for none", little do we realize that  waves of the 'sea' and the 'time' are unpredictable.

 If at once, the sea was calm to absorb the worries  ,the very next moment it can turn  turbulent to swallow the aspirations. If the tide of love falls at the ebb of anxiety and possessiveness, we are bound to get choked. The pressure of thoughts and  expectations lead to a contrast  reality that doesn't match up with our rosy dreams, we feel entirely defeated and utterly heart broken. After all,  "Expectation is the root of all heartache."

 And then? The hue of romance fades . The tears of hope flow down, washing away the dreams from the eyes .The cloud of emotions  burst inside the heart, making maximum casualties. It , kills the optimism , destroys the emotions, crushes the feelings and ruins the vulnerable heart. And eventually,The hue   which was once so adorable , VANISHES and leaves  the canvas of life 'incomplete' , forever...!

 "Don't expect things to happen, it is better to be surprised than to be disappointed." 

Just expect the unexpected. Go with the flow and whatever happens, happens.

"Abandoned Affection"

The Words of love turn futile
When their glory is lost erstwhile.

Entices the Abondoned   attractions
Tempts the  Disdained   affections.

Changes the harmony into Crusade
 The Hue of romance at last fades.

Emotions  swallowed , feelings  crushed
To whom does it matter? Nobody to trust.

 In the rain of agony, an umbrella of memories can't suffice
A step forward or a step backward? Becomes hard to decide.

Those who lose in love are not the ones who fail
They  are bold enough  to head above and sail.

The cage of sentiments traps the innocent heart
To survive through allegations  is the toughest part.

The shades of Adorance go dull with woe
Smiles confront the fading glow.

The road splits after traveling miles,
 the  words of love turn  futile
 when their glory  perhaps, is lost erstwhile.

"Escapism"

As I admired the serene tranquility of the water, dipped in the iridescent sheen of the  sunrise, I experienced an influx of thoughts. This beautiful scene induced  me to dissolve in its elegance.I experienced an impulse to surrender myself to the emaculacy of the nature.  I wanted to isolate myself from the predicaments of  life . Perhaps, my heart desired  "Escapism".

An escape- from the detrimental feelings that come along with the miseries and create  a void of contempt within us.

From the darkest  nights , from the badest hours, from the disdained feelings, from the atrocious past, from the amicable memories , from the dreadful toil,from the lamentable experiences, all that we desire for is-  "Escapism".

Life is like that tough question paper which ain't easy for any student. Everyone experiences turmoils and turbulations.At some point,Everything is bound to become blured and discontented. The maloncholy of life  turns it pejorative in every way.When the destiny loads the dice against us, when doors are slammed, When pals turn into foes , when hatred reaches its peak,When Love gets detested, When we deplore the pains, then the life  seems lifeless . The miseries  impute an impression of that bad nightmare which   haunts us throughout our lives. We curse our fate and words like "peace of mind" goes into the bin. 

But you know what is the best thing? Its the 'Time'. "Time is a great healer".Indeed. Time is enough to make one realise why the things went wrong then.Life is very short, it has limited tenure; we should not spend so much of our time elevating the negatives. Time is a wavelength with  crests and troughs. The ups and downs are bound to occur in this cycle and that is why, Good time follows the bad one,Sunshine follows every  night, Spring follows every winter,  Birth follows every death,And  there is  light at the end of every tunnel.

 Man's greatest asset is his "conscience". His intellect. His super power of knowledge and wisdom. His aura of thoughts. His capability to make the impossible possible.  But  sadly, little does he realise that he often ignores the open doors while feeling dejected at the closed ones.  Perhaps,  he  loses his path of faith . The tides of the sea of optimism are now at  the low ebb.Troding on the road of agony and despair, he  forgets the home of positivity.

Unfortunately,Too often, we go overboard, and beat ourselves up for our failures or let ourselves dwell in the negative.We  want to  escape  from the troubles but idealy, we should escape from the negativity. Problems, challenges and failures are  essential to grow as a successful person in our life. We need to get away from the lost hopes and doubts .

So, when life seems atrocious,Fill in the air of optimism.Believe in the power of time. Substitute the negative thoughts with sweet memories.Adore the nature.Quit overthinking. Embrace the obstacles. Imagine the good and acquire an 'escapism' to win.